What do you do when there's sin in the camp?

"In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

And [that] they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will."

2 Timothy 2:25-26

How grievious it is to see a fellow repenter step away from solid Biblical principles and see the resulting effects of that sin evident in their churlish attitudes towards those that cling to the Word of God and His order in faith and practise!

How saddening it is to stand by and watch them feed their precious little ones with the offal of the very dogs that will turn on their very selves one day and rend them to bits!

I say it is one thing to disagree with a Brother or a Sister in Christ and quite another to clearly depart from the truth of God's Word and then attack that Brother or Sister in Christ who clings to it with their entire being by mocking them, mocking the truth, and lastly, attacking the Lord's Churches.

In fact, I go so far as to say that when this is the case, I stand in shock and amazement and truly wonder at the condition of the offender's soul.

Have you learned nothing?

"And [when] they went from nation to nation, and from [one] kingdom to another people;

He suffered no man to do them wrong: yea, he reproved kings for their sakes,

[Saying], Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm."

1 Chron 16:20-22


"These six [things] doth the LORD hate: yea, seven [are] an abomination unto him:

A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

A false witness [that] speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."

Proverbs 6:16-19

Mock and scoff away then and show me your true nature. Belittle and accuse, point that finger of accusation at another, but know this; YOU ARE on dangerous ground IF you belong to the Lord.

"For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons."

Hebrews 12:6-8


From the Gadsby Hymnal

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy,
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and power.

I will arise and go to Jesus,
He will embrace me in His arms;
In the arms of my dear Savior,
O there are ten thousand charms.

Come, ye thirsty, come, and welcome,
God’s free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.

Come, ye weary, heavy laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry till you’re better,
You will never come at all.

View Him prostrate in the garden;
On the ground your Maker lies.
On the bloody tree behold Him;
Sinner, will this not suffice?

Lo! th’incarnate God ascended,
Pleads the merit of His blood:
Venture on Him, venture wholly,
Let no other trust intrude.

Let not conscience make you linger,
Not of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness He requireth
Is to feel your need of Him.
"What then? are we better [than they]? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin;

As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.

They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

Their throat [is] an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps [is] under their lips:

Whose mouth [is] full of cursing and bitterness:

Their feet [are] swift to shed blood:

Destruction and misery [are] in their ways:

And the way of peace have they not known:

There is no fear of God before their eyes."

Romans 3 : 9-18

Recently I was asked how I could be a Christian now and suffer no ill repercussions from the life I led before the Lord saved me and they further wanted to know if I realised I would sin again.

I hope my eyes did not bulge out of their sockets as far as I felt that they did upon being addressed thusly. =) Had I not made it clear that we are ALL sinful by nature?

Firstly, I'd like to make it very clear that just because someone has been saved, doesn't mean they are now somehow humanly perfect and will never sin again. I believe the above Scripture is a very clear picture of humanity without God's gracious gift of salvation and the merciful restraining hand of the Heavenly Father.

Ecclesiastes 7: 20 pretty much sums it up.

"For [there is] not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not."

The word "just" in that verse comes from the Hebrew meaning "to be righteous" ; "justified."

So it's pretty plain to see that yes indeed, I will sin. Perhaps what a casual onlooker does not see are the tears of TRUE sorrow I shed when I do sin and fail my Heavenly Father and the work of ongoing God-given repentence going on in my life.

Certainly I strive to live my life according to what the Bible teaches. Yet, sadly - heart breakingly so - yes, I will sin again. The difference is, my friend, I take no glory in my sin. My fist is not being waved in the air at The ONLY true and Sovereign God, and THANKFULLY the Lord does forgive me when I fail Him.

Does this mean I go out and do "bad things" on purpose? No. I don't want to do things that come between myself and my Lord. I don't like the distance of separation sin brings between me and my Saviour! It's most grievious!!

However, I would also like to point out:

Isaiah 64:6
"But we are all as an unclean [thing], and all our righteousnesses [are] as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away."

How thankful I am that the Lord ever draws His own to Himself, chastises us when we have done wrong, forgives us, and keeps us ever near to Him!

With regard to the question regarding ill repercussions in my life from my past way of living, I can attest that these do exist. There are some things we do in our lifetimes we will never forget.

However, when these things spring to mind, rather than wallow in them, the true repenter falls on their face before God begging for grace and I can assure you, He NEVER fails to give it!


13 Things a Lost Person Cannot Do by Curtis A. Pugh

The following is a copy of a tract by Elder Curtis A. Pugh.

I felt it quite worthy of posting here.

(Please note that I had difficulty with the formatting of this tract and I believe it is probably due to the long length. The tract itself is very well written and properly formatted.)

13 Things a Lost Person Cannot Do
by Curtis A. Pugh

That the lost sinner must cast himself wholly on the mercy and grace of God must be obvious to those who read and believe the Scriptures. But the Bible knows nothing of such foolish man-made ideas as "praying the sinner's prayer", or "making a decision for Christ", or "inviting Jesus into your heart" or "going forward to receive Christ."
No New Testament preacher ever used such terms or tactics! To tell spiritually dead sinners that there is something they can do to bring about their salvation is damnable heresy for by its false hope sinners are taught to trust in what they have done rather in Christ who has done all.

Consider these thirteen spiritual things an unsaved person cannot do:


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

". . . thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself . . ." (Psalm 50:21)
"Canst thou by searching find out God? Canst thou find out the Almighty unto perfection? It is as high as heaven; what canst thou do? Deeper than hell; what canst thou know?" (Job 11:7-8)

"Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3)

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9)

"O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps." (Jeremiah 10:23)

"There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." (Proverbs 14:12)

"For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse; for it is written, Cursed is every one that continueth not in all things which are written in the book of the law to do them." (Galatians 3:10)

"Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not . . ." (John 14:17)

8. HE CANNOT HEAR (receive & understand) GOD'S WORDS:
"He that is of God heareth God's words; ye therefore hear them not because ye are not of God." (John 8:47)

"But the natural (unsaved) man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them because they are spiritually discerned." (1Corinthians 2:14)

"Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man but of God." (John 1:13)

"For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy." (Romans 9:15-16)

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that (faith) not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)

". . . for all men have not faith." (2 Thessalonians 3:2)

"For unto you it is given . . . to believe on him . . ." (Philippians 1:29)

". . . if God peradventure will give them repentance . . ." (2 Timothy 2:25)

". . . to them that have obtained like precious faith with us . . ." (2 Peter 1:1)

"No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him . . . Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father." (John 6:44, 65)

"But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep as I said unto you." (John 10:26)

"For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. . . . So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his." (Romans 8:5, 8, 9)


In the light of these things which a spiritually dead (lost) sinner cannot do, how then do we account for the command of God to all men to repent? The Bible does state that God ". . . now commandeth all men everywhere to repent" (Acts 17:30). What do we do about the counsel of God to men which says they are to believe on Christ? Would God command and instruct men to do that which they cannot do?

We answer an emphatic "Yes!"
Our proof is the holy Law of God given to Moses on Mount Sinai. While there was nothing wrong with God's Law, no man is able to keep those commandments (1 Timothy 1:8; Romans 8:3). No man ever kept the Law of God and yet God was right to give it to man and command its keeping! By that Law we see ourselves as sinners (Romans 3:20). That was the purpose of the Law!

While God requires repentance (the will to turn from sin) and faith (the will to believe in Christ), no man is able of himself to do either. Thus, as with the Law, man is forced to see that there is nothing good in him and that he cannot repent and believe savingly in Jesus Christ.
Throughout the Bible God's children recognize their own inability to do anything to save themselves. In addition to the portions previously quoted in this tract, consider the following statements:

". . . I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not." (Romans 7:18)

"Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." (Mark 9:24)

". . . I am shut up, and I cannot come forth." (Psalm 88:8)

"Turn us. O God of our salvation . . ." (Psalm 85:4)

" . . . Turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the LORD my God." (Jeremiah 31:18)

"But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our riqhteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. And there is none that calleth upon thy name, that stirreth up himself to take hold of thee . . ." (Isaiah 64:6, 7)

". . . Salvation is of the LORD" (Jonah 2:9).

Those who think that they can properly repent of their own ability and savingly believe of their own faith fall into error. They trust in their own ability and not in the saving work of Jesus Christ! Is not this true of those who boast of their past sins and their turning from them? Do they not claim that they did it themselves? Repeatedly we hear this in their popular "testimony meetings." Some are willing to share the glory and admit that they had a little help from God, but even this is wicked confidence in the flesh. And do not some religionists boast of their faith as if it was some great thing worthy of reward?
Faith (confidence) in my faith or in my turning to God is not ". . . the faith of God's elect." (Titus 1:1)

Paul wrote concerning true children of God, ". . . We . . . worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh." (Philippians 3:3).
To trust in anything done in the flesh (human nature and strength) is to have "confidence in the flesh." To trust in your prayer, your baptism, your goodness, your faith or any experience you may have had is to have confidence in the flesh and not to trust in Christ. The faith and confidence of the true believer is in Christ! Those born of God trust not in rituals, sacraments, good works, their own repentance or their faith in Christ, but rather in Christ alone!

"Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith . . ." (2 Corinthians 13:5). Are you trusting in your faith or are you trusting in Christ?
What is the object of your faith? Do you really see that all your "righteousnesses are as filthy rags"? (Isaiah 64:6).
Have you seen that you deserve Hell?
Are you willing to take your place as a sinner and if God sends you to Hell will you say He is just, fair, and righteous to do so? Or do you think yourself unworthy of eternal punishment?

Consider these words from the old English Baptist Gadsby Hymnal.

O beware of trust ill-grounded;
'Tis but fancied faith at most,
To be cured, and not be wounded:
To be saved before you're lost.

Have you never been wounded by the Word of God so that your sins have been laid bare? Have you never been lost--that is, have you seen yourself as hopelessly lost and a Hell-deserving sinner? How can you think yourself saved if you have never been lost? Jesus said, ". . . I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance" (Mark 2:17).
If a sinner, surely the Scriptures cited in this tract have shown that you are helpless to do anything about your terrible lost condition!

Salvation is free and comes, "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us . . ." (Titus 3:5).
Look to Jesus Christ, who has done all things necessary and possible, "for he shall save his people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21).

May God give you grace to see yourself as He does, and may He give you the twin gifts of ". . . repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ" (Acts 20:21) so that you are ". . . not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul" (Hebrews 10:39).


His Grace is Sufficient

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I am not like Paul in that I can glory in my infirmities. Certainly this man bore more than any person could take unless the Lord does indeed grant grace to endure - yet more than endure; thrive.

However, I have been of late suffering a great deal physically.

The natural man wishes to wallow in self pity and moan "woe is me." Yet the Lord has seen fit to show me that indeed His grace is sufficient.

Further as I lay in pain last night, my Precious Lord brought this verse to mind,

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose."

I see the tapestry of my life from underneath. The pattern is unclear to me. Yet my Lord sees it from the top, with vibrant colours and the gorgeous patterns He has already woven in; His plan for my life already in full.

What a blessing it is to serve Him!


"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God:

Not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

How amazingly clear it is written in the above quoted scripture that salvation is all a work of grace; a gift given by God along with faith - a faith that is not something we can work up within ourselves, - but rather a gift given to us by God himself.

Further, a person's seemingly good deeds or so-called sinner's prayers will profit nothing. It plainly says, "Not of works, lest any man should boast."

I don't see how the scriptures can be much clearer on the matter.

Yet another passage states

Ephesians 2: 1
"And you [hath he quickened], who were dead in trespasses and sins;"

Quickened meaning "bring to life."

This second part of this verse states that before the Lord gave us life - we were dead in trespasses and sins.

I understand this to mean dead to the ability to even seek God.

Ephesians 2:2
"Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:"

So here it is. Once again showing that there is nothing a person can do to merit salvation. Before the Lord saves a person, they walk just like the rest of the world walks. Lives just like the world. No difference in one from another. No need to think yourself better than any other person! Sin is sin and God cannot look up on it. But moving on a bit further it says,

"...according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:..."]

The prince of the power of the air is another name for Satan; the devil. So, it's one way or the other. I see no in between ground here. Either God is working in an individual or the spirit of rebellion against God, sinfulness against God, hatred of God, - all the things that Satan represents are working within a person.

Now that's a very sobering thought.

Further, this is written to those that already believe, leaving no room for us to think more highly of ourselves than others to whom perhaps the Lord has not revealed Himself as yet, or those to whom He might never be revealed.

You see, ONLY GOD gets the praise in the act of salvation.

If you belong to the Lord, then it's not because of anything you did. You were dead to things of God. You did nothing to earn it.

So then, as it is written in the book of Jonah 2:9

".... Salvation is of the Lord."


More and More hits home

The story of Manasseh keeps coming to my mind.

It's found in 2 Chronicles 33: 1-19

"Manasseh [was] twelve years old when he began to reign, and he reigned fifty and five years in Jerusalem:

But did [that which was] evil in the sight of the LORD, like unto the abominations of the heathen, whom the LORD had cast out before the children of Israel.

For he built again the high places which Hezekiah his father had broken down, and he reared up altars for Baalim, and made groves, and worshipped all the host of heaven, and served them.

Also he built altars in the house of the LORD, whereof the LORD had said, In Jerusalem shall my name be for ever.

And he built altars for all the host of heaven in the two courts of the house of the LORD.

And he caused his children to pass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom: also he observed times, and used enchantments, and used witchcraft, and dealt with a familiar spirit, and with wizards: he wrought much evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger.

And he set a carved image, the idol which he had made, in the house of God, of which God had said to David and to Solomon his son, In this house, and in Jerusalem, which I have chosen before all the tribes of Israel, will I put my name for ever:

Neither will I any more remove the foot of Israel from out of the land which I have appointed for your fathers; so that they will take heed to do all that I have commanded them, according to the whole law and the statutes and the ordinances by the hand of Moses.

So Manasseh made Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem to err, [and] to do worse than the heathen, whom the LORD had destroyed before the children of Israel.

And the LORD spake to Manasseh, and to his people: but they would not hearken.

Wherefore the LORD brought upon them the captains of the host of the king of Assyria, which took Manasseh among the thorns, and bound him with fetters, and carried him to Babylon.

And when he was in affliction, he besought the LORD his God, and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers,

And prayed unto him: and he was intreated of him, and heard his supplication, and brought him again to Jerusalem into his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the LORD he [was] God."

Now after this he built a wall without the city of David, on the west side of Gihon, in the valley, even to the entering in at the fish gate, and compassed about Ophel, and raised it up a very great height, and put captains of war in all the fenced cities of Judah.

And he took away the strange gods, and the idol out of the house of the LORD, and all the altars that he had built in the mount of the house of the LORD, and in Jerusalem, and cast [them] out of the city.

And he repaired the altar of the LORD, and sacrificed thereon peace offerings and thank offerings, and commanded Judah to serve the LORD God of Israel.

Nevertheless the people did sacrifice still in the high places, [yet] unto the LORD their God only.

Now the rest of the acts of Manasseh, and his prayer unto his God, and the words of the seers that spake to him in the name of the LORD God of Israel, behold, they [are written] in the book of the kings of Israel.

His prayer also, and [how God] was intreated of him, and all his sin, and his trespass, and the places wherein he built high places, and set up groves and graven images, before he was humbled: behold, they [are] written among the sayings of the seers."

The things about Manasseh's story that really hit home with me are how Manasseh absolutely did the opposite of what his father did.

I did the exact same thing.

Next, how he practised paganism and what we would call witchcraft today.

I did the exact same thing.

Yet, God didn't leave Manasseh in that spiritual place, but rather put him in a position of dire misery and got his attention.

God did that for me too.

Then God made sure Manasseh "knew that the Lord, He was God."

Again, God did this for me and I must say, this is a continuing work in my life everyday.

Once God put Manasseh back in authority - restored him to his old position, Manasseh acted quite differently. This is because his life had been changed. His "want to" was redirected. He no longer desired to do the old things he had done. He was forever changed and sought to glorify the Creator, rather than the creation.

Manasseh destroyed his old symbols of worship and instead, followed the living God.

And this, by God's grace is my desire as well.


Let Down - a bit discouraged

Sunday was both good in some ways and a let down in others.

I simply cannot figure out how on the one hand a preacher can show that God is almighty enough to create the earth, plants, animals, - all that is in the earth; to place the sun, moon, and stars and entire solar systems!.... but then turn around at the end of the sermon and say, "Now if you will just repeat this sinner's prayer and ACCEPT Christ as your personal lord and saviour.... After all, YOU have to accept God..." (NO NO NO NO NO)

It makes me wanna bash my head in on back of the pew in front of me!


Either God is totally sovereign, in control of ALL things or He is not. You cannot have it both ways.

Frankly this sort of preaching makes me afraid of the preachers and the churches that do this. "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways."

And... I further found that the churches here might not have been started by other Baptist churches after all.

*Picture of a very tired me, annoyed with mankind daring to put their own spin on the very clear New Testament Church pattern, goes here*

Yes, I probably sound a bit harsh in this entry, yet that's not my intent. I suppose it stems from being ever so tired and not a little let down as I had thought that I would be able to join a local church; that there would be one of the Lord's churches here.

Hey, maybe there is - hidden away.


I don't for one minute believe that the Lord has put a desire in my heart to be baptised and become a member of one of His true churches with that need to follow Him in this manner being an impossibility.

May He grant me grace and faith to get through this.

Romans 11:4-5

"But what saith the answer of God unto him? I have reserved to myself seven thousand men, who have not bowed the knee to [the image of] Baal.

Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace."


My Testimony in Full

Thank you Anita for your encouragement to write this down and keep it!

My Testimony

Well, I don’t know for sure how to describe what happened. Certainly, I know I cannot possibly describe it well, but I shall try.

All of my childhood, I was taught Biblical truth by my parents. I memorised scripture, was in church every time the doors were open, etc. There were times in my adulthood that I “tried” so very hard to BE a Christian. Yet, there was always something missing. I didn’t have the same sort (not the same exact) but the same sort of convictions I saw others who I felt were saved, had. I felt strongly about doctrinal truth. Yet, in retrospect, I can also see where that could have been a matter of pride, even though the Bible would forbid such and certainly the Sovereign Grace Baptist Church I was in would have taught against all manner of pride and arrogance.

Eventually, I gave up, turned my back to it for the main part, and slid as far down that downward spiral as God would let me. In 1 Chronicles there is the story of Manasseh. While I certainly was never King of anything; I am guilty of the same sorts of sins; the same sorts of sin that God judged Israel for by sending it into captivity in Babylon.

My life in the last 5 years has been very difficult. Deepest and darkest of depression was with me every waking moment. I felt that life had no meaning and I literally hated where I lived and wasn’t that keen on the people among whom I lived either.

Nothing got better either. The depression only deepened. My life was a total misery.

Two years ago, I visited XXXXXXX and was sitting under the teaching of one I call brother both in the spiritual sense as well as feeling that kinship with him in an earthly sense. If I could trace back to a time when I TRULY saw the fact that I NEEDED God, that evening in service in XXXXXXX would be the first time. From a human standpoint, this is when the Lord began to work on me. Yet, the Bible says His work is finished. He settled all of this before He laid the foundations of this world.

A few nights ago, I guess it may have been a couple of weeks ago, I was in bed, and all of a sudden, out of NOWHERE, I saw myself as a sinner; filthy, horrible, wretched, stinking.

I started praying for the first time in YEARS, to the true God. When I say I prayed for the first time in years, I mean it. It had been that long since I had actually cried out to God for anything other than my own selfish wishes, which is not prayer.

I actually had the audacity to begin to tell God that I deserved better than what I’d been given and all of a sudden, I saw that I did not. My mouth was stopped. I was stunned. And then I said, “No, Lord, I don’t.”

There was no sinner’s prayer of me accepting God, as I finally understood with my heart rather than just my head, that it was all about God accepting me and there was nothing I could do to merit salvation. What else can one say to God when seeing themselves as nothing but disgusting in His site, but “Oh God, please be merciful to me, a sinner!” I realised then, that my prayer was the result of God saving me, rather than the reason God saved me.

Since then things have been happening so quickly. All that knowledge that I had accumulated over the years has come back and to the forefront, only this time, it is precious to me. My “want to” has changed.

Certainly, I don’t believe it is my job to convert the masses. Especially as I see that truly Salvation is of the Lord. He started it before the foundations of the world were placed and He will see it through eternity. It’s not up to me to judge another person nor is it up to me to try and get them to walk an aisle and make a profession of faith, as if that does any good anyway!

My duty, ah, it’s more than that – it’s a joy… My joy is to serve the Lord, live my life as best I can, trust in Him to continue to grant me repentance unto life, and to be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks the reason for the hope that is in me.

And that's not the end. This is the beginning.

Quite a Day

Today has been very stressful for me.

There have been several people that have inquired after me and I was able to give them an answer for the hope that is in me.

Yet, I found it difficult to describe and it took a while to find the right words, and even then, I felt the words were less than satisfactory.

So far, there is one that has seemingly written me off. So be it.

It's very difficult for me to NOT take these things personally. It seems to be hard for people to realise that I'm still the same personality with the same tastes in food, movies, games, humour, clothing.

The differences are in my desire to please Christ and not man!

The differences are that I will be more moderate in my food intake as I know gluttony is a sin; I will be more careful of what movies I watch as I don't think it pleases God for us to fill our minds with murder and violence; I am more careful concerning humour. Anything off colour and certainly things that mock my Lord, offend not only me, but the Almighty! Lastly, I'll be more conscious about my clothing to ensure I'm being modest - and no, I don't mean by wearing a nun's habit either.

See? My human sarcasm is still well in place.

At the end of the day, as in today, I'm tired of trying to explain that it is a life changing event that happened to me, but I am still "me." I haven't grown two heads, nor have I sprouted any additional limbs. Although, I must say, I think some people would be more receptive to the latter than they seem to be with a person having been called away from a life of wickedness and death to one that promises eternal life with the Heavenly Father and gives us grace to face each day knowing we are loved beyond measure.

I'll not be a liberal and compromise. I will do what I feel led of the Lord to do and folks, I'm not budging as long as God grants me the grace to stand for what is right.

One cannot serve God and man. Impossible to do. I'll not attempt it. I'll not attempt to appease those that are uncomfortable with this beautiful, free gift of salvation that has been bestowed on me as long as God holds me up and keeps me from falling.

To those that rejoiced with me, I am ever so thankful for you! Thank you! =)

To those that are still unsure of what has occurred, not fully understanding the changes in my life and the reasons why, I can only say that I do not know why God saved me either. But thankfully, He did.

I feel as if I've been battling the human side of me most of the day and truly, I have been, but thankfully, not alone. Still, I am more tired than I remember being in quite sometime.

But before I go to bed... =D

"Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present [you] faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,

To the only wise God our Saviour, [be] glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen." Jude 1:24-25


An Interesting Turn of Events

The friend that abandoned me yesterday has come back to me today.

I pray that the Lord can use this wretched vessel that I am to per chance share some truth with her, should she ask.

We are called to be witnesses of His precious truths and may God grant me the grace to be just that, should He be pleased to do so. I don't wish to be of the sort that try and ram things down another's throat. And anyway, that doesn't do one good thing when people do it.

You see, God doesn't owe me or anyone else a single thing. He doesn't have to do ANYTHING for any of us. Yet, He sees fit to in His mercy to shed His grace on some.

When we see this then we too can say, as did Paul in Romans 7:24,

"O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?"


Never Count the Cost

Today I lost the first "native" friend I ever made in this country.

I suppose when one is seeking to follow the Lord, these things happen as a consequence.

Yet, I assure anyone that asks; NO amount of friends on this earth can mean to me what my relationship with my Heavenly Father does.

Does it hurt?


Does He comfort?

Oh Yes!

And it's not the end of the world yet. I will pray for her all the more.

"But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know [them], because they are spiritually discerned." 1 Cor. 2:14


Matthew 6:19-21 KVJ 1611

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Matthew 6:19-21 Wycliffe- Purvey, 1395

Do not ye treasure to you treasures in earth, where rust and moth destroyeth, and where thieves delve out and steal;

but treasure to you treasures in heaven, where neither rust nor moth destroyeth, and where
thieves delve not out nor steal.

For where thy treasure is, there also thine heart is.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

That last sentence jumped out at me and I looked up the word heart in Strongs.

As the word heart is used here it seems to connotate the seat of all physical and spiritual life.

And in verse 20 the word heaven according to context points to the seat of order of things eternal and consummately perfect where God dwells.

When God changes us, our true wealth, the spiritual wealth, the only wealth that matters, is a storehouse over flowing with precious, immutable truths of our Heavenly Father.

Once thus changed, not only do we have a new spiritual outlook, but it is also physically life changing.

These verses contain a very precious promise. No longer are we in bondage spiritually or physically once our treasure ; that which we hold the most dear to hearts, is found with the Lord.


We are truly blessed by the Lord each and everyday. Some days, we actually take note of it!

Today was such a day for me.

I have been looking for a church of like faith and order for almost 5 years now. Yes, tis true the Lord hadn't saved me back then, yet I still understood that I had a need to be in church. Methinks this might be the result of being a PK. (Preacher's Kid for those that didn't suss it out.)

Today, I was blessed to find two that match the description; one in particular really does. So now, I can truly not forsake the assembling. *smile*

There is a danger to preacher's kids to believe scriptural things because their parents believed them. This can result in a mere head knowledge unless or until the Lord applies it to the heart. In turn, the PK can often be confused as to whether or not they are indeed saved. Well, at least that was my experience. And until one experiences true salvation, head knowledge is all one can have.

There is not single thing I did to merit the salvation my heavenly Father has so lovingly bestowed on me. He sought me out for I had no intention of seeking Him. Yes, my life was a relative mess. Yes I was a miserable failure. Yes, I thought I could handle everything all by myself, thank you very much. :)

So, did all my problems in life just disappear?


However, my attitude changed. My lifestyle has changed. My "want to" has been changed. And where there was dark anger within me, there is now a much more meek self, which cries out to the Father so many times per day. Why? Because God has granted me the grace to do so. Again, I can rejoice that this is ALL of God, and none of me.

What a difference prayer is when you KNOW the one you are petitioning! How much more grateful you feel for even the smallest of things you once took for granted!

So I ask the person whose eyes cross this page; Has God dealt with you in this way?


Favourite Hymns

I was thinking today of my favourite hymns.

There are only three that come to mind as being my favourites, "Hail Sovereign Love", one that is a newer hymn that I first learned using the Berea Baptist Hymnal - I believe it's entitled "The Lord's Church" and "It is Well with My Soul."

Spafford penned the words to the latter after learning of the death of his four daughters. What grace he was given to be able to write such beautiful words!

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, It is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet,
though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross,
and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Chorus (between each verse and at the end)
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

The lines that particularly jump out at me are, "That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, and has shed his own blood for my soul."

To think that the Lord Jesus took any thought of me at all is the most humbling of thoughts. To know that He loves me; a precious, precious thought that brings tears to my eyes, instills thankfulness in my heart, and reminds me of how unworthy of His love and grace I truly am.


The Funeral Poem

Today I attended the funeral of a lady who would have been 87 years old in just a few more days.

She spent her lifetime attending a "wee free" - Free Presbyterian Church.

Upon her death, a poem was found inside her handbag and it reads:

"Be calm.
Do not look forward to what might happen tomorrow.
The same Everlasting Father who cares for you Today,
Will take care of you tomorrow and everyday.

Either He will shield you from suffering,
Or He will grant you unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace then.
Put aside all thoughts."

Just a little piece of paper, left behind, speaking volumes.

Just a few lines

I am not the author of the following. Tis merely something I remember reading long ago in a publication originally written by Charles Spurgeon. It has stuck with me all these years.

If ever it should come to pass,
That sheep of Christ might fall away,
My wicked, sinful soul, alas,
Would fall one thousand times a day.


All of my memorable life, I have been taught that the only sort of life to lead, was one which strove to follow Christ's example; one that conformed to what God would have me to do rather than self will.

For years I thought I was a saved individual. After all, hadn't I prayed the sinner's prayer? Hadn't I gone to church faithfully? Didn't I read my Bible?

And then one day under the teaching of one I call brother both in the spiritual sense and also one I feel that special brother/sister kinship with, I began to see my sin.

You see, all of the things I listed were things "I" had done. Somehow in my struggle to "be" a Christian, I had forgotten one very important component; that my salvation had nothing to do with "me" accepting Christ, but rather, Christ accepting me.

So there I sat, realising my works meant nothing.

I began to see my sin, little by little and have come to believe this is an ongoing process. Surely repentance is not something merely once experienced, but rather a lifelong process.

So it is with these realisations and a spiritual hunger for the things of the Lord, that I begin to journal a few of the precious moments I experience as a believer.